


Sick

by Cuthwyn



Series: Joyfire Week 2017 [6]
Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, First Kiss, Homophobia, Implied Childhood Sexual Abuse, M/M, Referenced bed wetting, Trying to figure it out without insulting anyone, Wet Dream, fun in the shower
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-24
Updated: 2017-08-24
Packaged: 2018-12-19 12:15:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11897544
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cuthwyn/pseuds/Cuthwyn
Summary: Kori suggests that Jason may have a little bit of a crush on Roy.Roy denies this ... until it was just the two of them walking along the beach one evening.Jason was not looking at the scenery that for sure.So, Roy bites the bullet and kisses his Jaybird.The bullet explodes.Joyfire Week 2017: Day 7: Secret Crush





	Sick

**Author's Note:**

> Last one yay!  
> Next time I decide to do a challenge the last week of uni someone please remind me of this one? 
> 
> Not 100% happy with this one. I'd like to if made it a multi chapter but I already have a few I need to finish and once this idea came ... nothing else would do. So one shot it is.  
> I tried my best??

The sun was setting over the sea, turning the water almost golden.  
The sand was still warm under foot after a full day of the sun’s heat, the waves washing along it with a soft rushing sound. The air perfumed by the flowers growing beyond the beach with an under tone of salt.  
In short, it was a beautiful evening.  
In Roy’s opinion though, it was not as beautiful as the guy walking along side him, giggling slightly as he paddled in the waves. Jason suited this lighting, the reflection of the setting sun made his skin glow, almost as much as Kori’s.  
Roy wanted to talk, to ask Jason if he thought the beach was beautiful too but he couldn't bring himself to ruin the moment. Jason was happy, paddling in the sea. It was one of those rare, treasured moments that Roy liked to parcel up carefully and store away in a special box in his mind. Moments that he liked to keep safe.

Roy slowed a little when he realised that Jason was looking at him too. Teal eyes trailed up his bared chest to finally meet Roy's gaze, before darting back to his own toes in the water. Roy’s lips twitched a little in an attempt to smile at the blush that had blossomed across the younger man's cheeks. Maybe if he asked, it wouldn't be the scenery that Jason would say he'd been admiring?  
‘This is nice.’ Roy said softly, stepping just a little closer.  
Jason sighed with a small smile and looked up at him. It was a sight Roy wished he could capture on camera.  
‘Yeah. This is nice.’ Jason mumbled, his cheeks darkening even further. ‘With you.’  
Roy almost swallowed his damn tongue.  
They carried on walking along the shore, Roy watching Jason paddle and giggle thoughtfully.  
Jason was a regular occupant in his and Kori’s bed. He had pointed out that Jason still wasn't well, he was better, but he still wasn't at his optimum, he probably just wanted company. Roy knew from experience that night was a favourite time for demons to come out and play.  
Jason had less nightmares when he slept with them.

Kori had smiled and shook her head with a soft laugh.  
‘Uh huh. So why does Jay cling onto you just as much as he does me? Have you seen the way that boy looks at you? Someone's got a crush!’  
Roy had rolled his eyes and dismissed her. Crushes were a high school thing. Why would Jason have a secret crush like some kid who didn't know what to do about it? Sure, Jason was a bit of a wallflower, but he was hardly innocent.  
A larger wave came crashing up to them, splashing Jason all the way up to his knees. Leaping back with a surprised yelp, he burst out laughing and turned to grin at Roy in delight.  
Roy just chuckled and shook his head, watching the idiot play in the sea like that had him thinking that maybe Kori was right? Maybe Jason did have a bit of a teenage crush going on.  
He was nineteen, it couldn't be that impossible? Could it?

Jason carried on splashing about in the sea as they walked along, completely obvious to Roy's increased interest. Roy smiled to himself as he stepped even closer and slowly slid his fingers in between Jason's and much to his surprise, Jason squeezed back and smiled at him.  
‘Aw, you scared of stingrays Harper?’  
‘Stingrays?’ Roy laughed, looking over at the shallow water further out, he spotted a couple of stingrays swimming along the sea bed. ‘Nah, I ain't scared of a stingray, Jaybird.’  
‘But then why-‘ before he could finish, Roy leant forwards and kissed him. It took a moment for him to realise that Jason wasn't kissing back. Roy watched the smile he had adored so much be consumed by a sudden rage before Jason was pulling away and rubbing at his mouth as if Roy were poisonous.  
‘The fuck man!’ Jason yelled, and Roy just blinked back in confusion. Shocked to receive such a negative reaction, he'd been so sure that his Jaybird was interested.  
‘Look, you were giving off signals that- I thought- look let's just pretend I tripped over okay?’ Roy tried to smooth things over, bring back the carefree Jaybird he'd had moments ago.

Jason scowled and took another step back, arms wrapped around his chest defensively.  
‘Don't touch me, you're fucking sick!’Jason spat, his eyes shooting wide open as soon as the word left his lips.  
This time it was Roy’s turn to step back, it felt like he'd just been punched in the gut.  
‘What did you just say?’  
‘I'm sorry!’ Jason mumbled, arms tightening around his middle. ‘Roy, I'm sorry.’  
‘Sorry? Fuck you!’ Roy yelled back, his hurt bubbling slowly into anger. ‘Don't you dare even think about getting into bed with me tonight!’

Jason stared blankly after Roy as he stormed back off towards home. Tears dropped onto his cheeks, which he hastily wiped away. Regret, guilt and self hatred pooling around him like the sea water at his ankles.  
‘I'm sorry.’ Jason whispered, sinking to his knees he sobbed quietly into the sand. ‘I'm sorry.’

Jason didn't return that night. Instead, he rocked up around midmorning, made breakfast and disappeared into his room. Roy couldn't even bring himself to care. Jason had made Biscuits and Gravy, he pushed it away, suddenly feeling rather nauseous. Kori raised an eyebrow and looked from Jason's closed bedroom door to Roy giving his breakfast a death glare.  
‘I thought Biscuits and Gravy was your favourite Roy?’ She asked innocently, watching him push the meal even further away from himself.  
‘Not hungry. Musta lost my appetite.’ He grumbled, burying his face into his hands. Kori was having none of it. Motioning towards the closed bedroom door, both eyebrows disappeared into her hairline.  
‘First you come back from your walk in tears. Then Jason returns looking like he's been in a shipwreck after being out all night. Now, you're refusing to eat. What happened between you boys last night?’  
‘You were wrong.’ Roy mumbled after a few long moments, tears welling up in his eyes once more. ‘I kissed Jason. He-he couldn't have been more disgusted.’  
Kori blinked in surprise and rushed over to wrap her arms around Roy, who sobbed into her chest.  
None of this made sense, she was so sure that Jason had been harbouring a crush.

The next day past the same way. Roy and Jason at least tried to be civil with each other but the casual, lightheartedness about them had gone. Jason no longer came to Roy and Kori's bed.  
The first few nights, Kori woke to Jason screaming and had gone to him. Only for Jason to tell her to leave him alone.  
‘I deserve it.’ He’d spat out through ragged breaths the one night, looking so terrified and alone. Try as she might though, Jason wouldn't let her anywhere near him.  
Kori tried to find out why their Jaybird would say that only for Roy to just scowl and turn away.  
Then one night, Jason had given up sleeping altogether. Instead, staying up drinking coffee and reading his books. Kori found the evidence in his bedroom when she woke up the next morning.  
She didn't say anything, just collected the empty.cups and placed them in the sink while Jason made breakfast. Eventually, Jason passed out on the couch at around noon. Kori smiled secretly to herself when Roy tucked Jason's comforter around him, green eyes full of concern.  
Without a word, Kori left silently to go for a walk, hoping against hope, that maybe this was the start of the pair of them working it out.

Jason’s phone rang an hour or so later, vibrating loudly on the coffee table. Despite currently hating the asshole, Roy still wanted Jason to get some rest so he answered it before the vibrations woke him up.  
‘Yello? Jason's phone?’  
‘Um hi? It's me? Tim. Did you not read the caller ID Roy?’  
Glancing over at a sleeping Jason, Roy rose out of his chair and padded quietly to his bedroom and shut the door.  
‘No. Sorry, Jason's sleeping. He's, well, he’s had a rough few nights.’  
‘Oh. Never mind, it was just about some intel, I can call another time or drop him an email. Is he answering his emails?’  
‘Nope.’  
‘Texts?’  
‘Probably the best option.’ Roy grumbled, hoping the kid would just hang up already and let him wallow in peace.  
‘Right, okie dokie. Um, Roy? You okay? You sound kinda down?’  
‘That's because your brother is a homophobic fuck!’ Roy spat as a knee jerk reaction and immediately regretted it.  
‘Who? Jay? Ha, right yeah! Good one Roy. Almost had me there.’

 

Scowling, Roy stomped over to the bed and plopped down on it ready to give Tim a few little home truths about his brother.  
‘The other night, he said, he called me sick. I kissed him and he called me sick. So not only do I find out he's straight, I'm living with a homophobe to boot. I have no idea what to do if I'm honest Tim.’  
There was along silence over the other end of the phone and Roy frowned, sure it was bad but he didn't think Tim would be that shocked.  
‘Why are you saying that Jay’s straight?’ Came a very emotionless, very calm tone of voice.  
‘Um, because he obviously is?’ Roy replied with a roll of his eyes.  
‘Right, yeah, no. Jason wouldn't have told you that. You decided that. You also decided what he meant by calling you sick. Funny, I’d say you were the narrow minded, unaccepting one here Roy!’

Wow, Timmy sounded pissed and if he wasn't in a different country right now, he'd be scared. Instead, Roy just felt like he'd been knocked sideways by a truck, again.  
‘Wh-what?’ He finally manages to choke out, shaking his head in utter disbelief.  
There was a long suffering sigh and the sound of Tim tapping on a keyboard.  
‘For someone who criticises my family for dropping the ball with Jay you are doing a pretty appalling job yourself.’ The typing stopped and it sounded like Tim had leaned back in his chair.  
‘Right, get yourself comfy lover boy this might take a while. Right, first, let's start with the basics. Jay has no idea what his sexuality is, like, at all. He never was a teen Roy? He never had that time to find himself in the most cringeworthy, kill me now ways possible. Educated guess here, but I'm guessing loverbird gave off some signals and back tracked when the idea in his head became reality? Forget what a having a secret crush is like Roy? That long ago? Secondly, now this really is an educated guess, but Jay’s life isn't too pretty. I wouldn't be surprised if Willis was homophobic, and the calling you sick thing? Well, we all know something not too fun happened in Jason's past, Bruce is all hush hush about it but come on, it's obvious. With that in mind and Jason's PTSD why else might he call an older guy kissing him sick?’  
Roy couldn't believe what he was hearing. Everything fell into place before his eyes, everything he should have worked out on his own without help from the little brother.  
‘Flashback. Fuck.’  
‘Yeah, fuck. I'd suggest hanging up on me and doing some major grovelling lover boy!’  
‘Right, yeah, thanks Tim.’  
‘I would say anytime, and I'm all for smut, but please, don't.’  
The call ended.  
Burying his face into the pillows, Roy sobbed. How could have been such a stupid idiot!

Jason continued to avoid him for a few more days after that. Never making eye contact and always making sure to stay out of arms reach. It broke Roy's heart but all he could think of to do was to keep trying and hopefully Jason would allow him to apologise properly.  
Jason still didn't come into Roy and Kori’s bed and both of them were starting to worry that one day they would wake up and their Jaybird would be gone.  
‘You gotta make this right Roy!’ Kori said, looking mournfully at the bedroom door. ‘I cannot bear to lose him.’  
Roy nodded and placed a soft peck on her cheek.  
‘I know. I just don't know how Kor? I'm lost.’  
The next morning Roy woke up early and crept out of the bedroom. It was just approaching eight so Jason should be up and about showering and taking his meds. It was completely silent. It was a wrong silent. A silent that usually meant that something very bad had happened, like murder. Or Roy's worst nightmare, and today, would be the day when the knife slipped just that little bit too deep and he was about to find his Jaybird cold and bleeding out on the floor.

Inhaling sharply, Roy had to fight the urge to just barge into Jason's bedroom and instead made his way over hastily.  
There was a sobbing. Jason was crying.  
Knocking on the door Roy pushed it open and peered inside.  
‘Jaybird? What's wrong?’  
Jason was curled up on the floor in just his boxer shorts, the sheets crumpled on the bed. At first, Roy thought that maybe he wasn't well but then he saw the bright red face his Jaybird was trying to hide behind his hands. He sighed in relief.  
Not because of Jason's shame but because he could guess the reason. Sometimes, Jason wet the bed, when the dreams were bad or he was stressed. 

‘I'm s-sorry.’ Jason stuttered, curling up even tighter in his ball. Roy wasn't overly sure whether he was apologising for their fall out or the wet bed. Closing the door softly behind him, Roy knelt down in front of Jason just out of arms reach.  
‘Hush, it's okay Jaybird. It's okay. Can I help clean it up?’  
Jason sniffles for a little while longer before nodding and uncurling from the ball a little. It was quite obvious that the knowledge that Roy was there and wasn't mad at him came as a huge relief.  
‘I- I dunno, dunno what t-to do.’  
Nodding, Roy reached out a hand and arched a questioning eyebrow.  
‘Can I touch you Jaybird? Is that okay?’  
Jason nodded again, eyes warily watching Roy's every move as he rested a grounding hand on his shoulder and squeezed gently.  
‘Sssh, it's alright. Just sit tight Jaybird. I’ll sort the sheets and then we can calm down yeah? It happens sometimes Jaybird. We've got this yeah?’ Roy soothed, but Jason started shaking his head violently, hands reaching up to tug at his hair in anguish.  
‘No, no it doesn't happen. Can't happen. Sick.’  
There was that word again.

Frowning, Roy lifted his head to peer at the soiled sheets, except, there was no stench of urine? Just a rather familiar, small, wet patch, eyes widening, he glanced back at Jason, focusing on his crotch. The boxer shorts were rather damp and, sticky.  
‘Oh Jaybird.’  
‘I'm sorry.’ Jason mumbled, his breathing picking up again as a fresh panic attack washed over him. Quickly bunching up the sheets, Roy dumped them in the hamper. It was pointless trying to calm him down if the incriminating sheets were still insight.  
‘It's gone Jaybird. It's okay, look at me and follow my breathing yeah? That's it.’  
Roy coaxed, smiling at Jason’s valiant effort to calm himself, his eyes fell to Jason's boxer shorts.  
‘It's just a wet dream buddy? Must say, that's a lotta spunk. When was the last time you jerked off man?’  
He'd hoped to lighten the mood, but Jason stared up at him with such a bewildered, wide eyed horror he wanted to weep. Yeah, Tim was right. No wonder Kori had a dopey smile on her face when she talked about sleeping with Jason, he must have been adorable.  
‘Right. Well, that's why this happened buddy? You gotta use the equipment if you know what I mean? Else you get a pretty swell dream. Who played the starring role?’

There were reasons why Roy wasn't a certified therapist. As much as he could get through to Jason, could talk him out of doing stupid shit, sometimes, he just kept putting his foot in it.  
Jason to one look at him and burst into tears. Ah. Had he been the main event in Jason's dream? Usually Roy would be flattered but now he was just, concerned.  
‘Woah, woah Jaybird it's fine. Just um, let's get you in the shower yeah? Get that gunk off.’ Roy suggested, almost whooping in relief when Jason managed to stop crying and nodded with a new found certainty.  
‘Yes, shower. Dirty.’  
Pulling a face, Roy helped hoist Jason to his feet and placed a hand at the small of his back to steady him as they walked together out towards the bathroom. He didn't like the sound of Jason calling himself dirty, sure it could just be him being fastidious, but then it could have a darker meaning. After already putting his foot in it, Roy decided to just carry on making his way to the bathroom.

Jason watched silently as Roy twisted the knobs to get the water running and ducked into the cupboard under the sink for some fresh towels. Watching him set them to one side, Jason clutched the waistband of his boxer shorts in a vice like grip.  
‘I can do it myself.’ He said with a firm nod and Roy shrugged and made to leave.  
‘Don't go!’  
‘Um, okay? Shall- shall I sit on the toilet?’ Roy asked, not entirely sure what it was he was being asked to do. Jason narrowed his eyes at said toilet seat before nodding slowly.  
‘Like Arkham.’  
Sitting down, Roy mirrored the nod and shrugged a shoulder.  
‘Erm, sure? Like Arkham?’

He had no idea what that was referencing but his agreement seemed to settle Jason, who stripped himself of his boxer shorts without so much as a quibble and climbed under the spray.  
‘You watching?’  
Frowning, Roy wasn't sure if he was being called out for watching Jason's ass or if he wanted him to watch?  
‘Um, yeah?’  
He didn't get a response. The steamy silhouette of his Jaybird just reached for the shampoo and began massaging it into his hair. It was then, that the Arkham reference made sense. Jason wasn't feeling safe so instead, his Jaybird was trusting him to keep him safe. Roy blinked back fresh tears and allowed himself a little smile, Jason trusted him.

‘I'm sorry for making a mess. I-it hasn't happened in so long, I forgot. I'm sorry Harper.’  
Roy's blissed out little bubble burst and he shifted uncomfortably in his seat.  
‘Ain't nothin’ bad buddy? It's normal. It's - it's nothing bad.’  
There was a silence filled only by the steady drumming of shower water. Jason had stilled, the flannel hanging limply in his hand. Chewing on his bottom lip, Roy wasn't sure if he should call out to Jason or go over to him to make sure everything was alright?  
‘My mamà would say it was bad.’ The voice didn't seem to quite belong to Jason, Roy stood slowly from his spot on the toilet seat. ‘She wanted me to be a good boy. Go to church, marry a nice girl. Not- not-‘  
‘A guy?’ Roy offered sadly.  
‘I'm not gay! I'm not!’  
A fist collided with the tile wall.  
Roy leapt forwards and pulled aside the glass screen to get to him. Jason had thankfully decided punching walls was a bad idea and was now just stood cradling his bleeding fist.

‘Ssh, ssh you're not gay Jaybird.’ Roy soothed, uncaring about the water drenching the sweat pants he slept in. It took him by surprise when Jason shook his head and just fell against his chest, wrapping his arms tightly around his neck.  
‘I dreamt about you.’ Jason whispered fearfully and Roy just wanted to weep, running his hand around up and down his Jaybird’s back he snuck a kiss to messy curls.  
‘That's okay, I don't mind.’ Roy whispered back, smiling when Jason blinked up at him. ‘You're winding yourself up about labels Jaybird and it don't matter. It's- it's like chocolate bars yeah? The label helps you find the one you like? Some folks know that they want a Hershey's bar and just go straight for that. Some, prefer a Snickers. Others pretty much have a bite out of every brand going because they kinda like them all.’  
Jason chuckled weakly and looked up at Roy, water sticking to his thick eyelashes.  
‘Like Dickie? And, and you?’

Laughing, Roy nodded and swept the water out of his own eyes.  
‘Yeah, guess you're on the money there. Look Jaybird, what, what I'm trying to say is, I don't care what label you choose. I don't care if you never choose one, it ain't important. I just like seeing that smile of yours and if you want to try every chocolate bar in the candy shop then go ahead.’  
Jason frowned and looked down between their bodies before looking up at him. Roy had never thought he'd see such an innocent expression from someone with his Jaybird’s past.  
‘I don't like chocolate very much.’ He mumbled, a blush dusting across his cheeks.  
‘So, don't have any then? If you like a few bites every now and again that's okay too. Jaybird, it's okay to have a look around the candy shop. You haven't been in it very long. Just, maybe hold off on the insults if you don't like what you try yeah?’  
Jason didn't say anything he just snuggled further into Roy's chest and Roy held him tighter to himself, praying that Little Roy got the memo and didn't react to attractive naked guy.  
‘That- I wasn't talking about you. I'm sorry.’ Jason said blankly, clearly struggling with some tug of war currently going on in his head.  
‘It's okay. You don't have to tell me. I don't know, but I think I understand.’

‘My mamà didn't like me going out with Da’s friends. Not cause of the stealin’ and stuff, but ‘cause some of Da’s friends were ‘sickos’. Once, she whacked Da’s bestie over the head with a rolled up newspaper cause he were kissing his boyfriend on the couch. She didn't want them corrupting me. Da was mighty mad at Mamà about that one.’  
That wasn't what Jason had been wanting to tell him. However, this particular tale was both surprising and quite informative about Jason's home life. Roy had to admit he wouldn't have pegged Willis to be the progressive type.  
‘That's your ma’s issue Jaybird. Not yours. That was her beliefs then, maybe, if she were here to see you as the strong young man you've become, she mighta thought different? Ma’s are weird like that. And if if not? Well, bet ya any money she wore mixed fabrics and all.’  
This earned him another chuckle and Roy felt Jaybird relax, the tightness in his muscles slowly melting away. He remained under the spray with Jason for a little while longer, giving him time to just be for a little bit.

‘Come on Jaybird, we’re gonna look like a couple raisins.’  
‘I like raisins.’ Came Jason's reply, muffled slightly by his chest and Roy just rolled his eyes at the moron.  
‘Come on, out we get Jaybird.’ He ordered, tugging the younger man out of the shower he wrapped a towel around his wait with a small smile. Jason smiled back before looking down at Roy’s soaked sweatpants.  
‘You need a towel too.’ He bent down to get another towel from under the sink and brandished it at him. ‘You're wet.’  
Roy didn't argue and soon both of them were wrapped in towels with Jason sat on the toilet seat as Roy patched up his injured fist. Jason’s lip had disappeared inside his mouth and something was clearly bugging him, but Roy decided to fix the fist and then deal with the next round of angst and confusion. He had a feeling it was going to be one of those days.  
‘Harper?’ 

Lifting his head, Roy put the medical tape back into the kit and looked up only to be greeted by a blur of Jason and the feel of someone kissing him. Wait, was Jason kissing him?  
Before he could quite come up with a response, Jason pulled away and was just sat there staring at him anxiously.  
‘Harper? I'm sorry, I just-‘  
‘Oh shut up you pain in the fucking ass!’ Roy griped, tugging Jason down into his lap he pressed their lips together again. A small little firework going off in his chest when he licked at Jason's lips and he permitted him access.  
In fact, an entire carnival, including cheerleaders and fanfares, were going off when Jason moaned and dug his fingers into Roy’s hair, clutching hold of it like it was some sort of treasure. Smiling against his lips, Roy deepened the kiss, hand reaching around to support Jason back as he lowered him down to the mat. He could kiss his Jaybird like this forever and right now? He was pretty okay with trying to make that a reality. Jason did seem to mind either.

Kori woke up to an empty bed and a quiet house. Frowning, she pulled on her robe and set off in search of her boys, worried that they'd fallen out again. The bathroom door was ajar and the light was on. Creeping over, Kori peeped inside and had to slap a hand over her mouth to hide an elated shriek. There sprawled out on the bathroom mat, wearing nothing but towels, were her boys, finally kissing the living day lights out of each other. Grinning like the devil, Kori knocked on the door, delighted at the squeak Jason let out before he pushed Roy away and sat bolt upright, quite frankly looking adorable with mussed up hair and kiss rouged lips.  
‘If you boys are that hungry? I suppose I should get breakfast on the table.’ Kori cackled, watching Jason turn bright red, although he didn't protest when Roy just grinned and pulled him in for another round.

Skipping off to the kitchen, Kori pulled out Jason's metal cookie cutters to make heart shaped eggs and toast, because what sort of girlfriend would she be if she didn't embarrass the hell out of her boys.


End file.
